Monday, April 27, 2009

Where To Find Love

Finally. The last paper pending this Wednesday.
I've been waiting for this day since the beginning of the semester last December.
You wanna know what's weird?
I think I wanna do my this morning's paper all over again.
I seriously don't mind going through again all the notes, practicing the calculations and revise again all the 3 lecturers' parts.

I seriously DO NOT FREAKING MIND doing that.
I do not wanna retake the paper. I just wanna redo it.

Yet again, I failed to make myself proud in the exam hall.
I tried my best but my best is never enough.
I almost broke down in tears while attempting the questions.

Seriously, what is effing wrong with me in the last few days????
I was in dire need for love so I went back home to search for it.
Yup, indeed love was all I received when I got home.
In fact, I felt so comfortable although most of the time I have my notes in front of me.

But, seriously, WHAT IS SO DAMN WRONGGGGG???
I studied my ass off but I just can't seem to concentrate!
My mind wandered off to the land far away I don't even know where.
I napped for only an hour at home to rest and with no internet connection, I could barely do anything.
So, all I did was staying at home, in my room, with the study table and my notes spread on the table.
Of course, I did watch the tv occasionally but I only watched for a like a couple of minutes!!


Like seriously, what have gotten into me??!!
I remember my cousin told me, when I was back in Form 5, I was much more disciplined so my SPM results were pretty good.
But as soon as I got into Form 6, my results started dropping like hell.
It even took me some time to get myself comfortable with my uni life and to stuff my brain with physics all over again.

All I asked for is love to give me back the strength to study.
I got love from my family.
But it wasn't enough.

And then I came across a pile of burned CD's.
I knew what are inside those CD's so I chose to browse them.

PHOTOS. Since the year 2004.
Lots of picture folders, collected since the day we met, the places we've been to and the things we've done.
I couldn't help but to smile at every single one of them while clicking it away on my lappie.
Now, I know where my mind has wandered off to.
It was him all the while.
I couldn't get my mind off the guy who has made such a big impact in my life.
The guy I saw in 2001 and got to know better in 2002.

I miss him.
It has been 7 months and I'm only 2 months away.
I cannot hold back my tears.



1 comment:

Anonymous said...


My Traveled Map

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